Certified London Transsexual

To become a Certified London Transsexual you must file a form and get signatures from ten other Certified London Transsexuals. HM Government instituted this rule to cut down on the number of fake Certified London Transsexuals and limit the number of genuine Certified London Transsexuals to something They can partially, but not entirely, live with, as the real number of Certified London Transsexuals they want to exist is almost, but not quite, zero. This is not just the case for London; to become a Certificate Manchester Transsexual, for example, you still need signatures from ten other Certified Manchester Transsexuals. Bristol and Glasgow have both filed for variances on this, to reduce the number of required Certified Bristol Transsexuals and Certified Glasgow Transsexuals down to five, but so far HM Government has not granted this exception.

Like most things related to Transsexuals in the UK the introduction of the signature requirement caused much backlash in the form of noise and little backlash in the form of action; and like some things related to Transsexuals in the UK the impact of the signature requirement introduction was more in the form of stochastic oppression and less in the form of repressive action. This is because whilst finding ten Certified London Transsexuals may seem arduous, if you a London Transsexual of any Certification, you almost certainly know ten Certified London Transsexuals just as a byproduct of being a London Transsexual, and without any particular effort to find ten Certified London Transsexuals. For example, the girl who offered you a line of ket in the club bathroom at the dyke rave is almost certainly a Certified London Transsexual, and the bitchy girl you met at a party through a convoluted string of social ties is almost certainly also a Certified London Transsexual.

All these Certified London Transsexuals, whilst they may have their own criteria for you becoming a Certified London Transsexual, such as actually taking that line of ket in the club bathroom at the dyke rave, or being sexually available, or not taking that line of ket in the club bathroom at the dyke rave, or not being sexually available, are all, at the end of the day, more than happy to sign off on your application to be a Certified London Transsexual, as they themselves know the pain and tribulations of being an Uncertified London Transsexual. And whilst their experiences of being an Uncertified London Transsexual may have been different than yours, and whilst they have felt a different kind of pain than yours, and whilst they may have had different feelings on being an Uncertified London Transsexual than you, they have empathy just the same, just as every Transsexual, regardless of City or Certification, should have empathy for every other Transsexual, regardless of City or Certification. So they sign your paperwork, and give you the names of three other Certified London Transsexuals to introduce yourself to, and before you know it you have your ten signatures, could easily acquire ten more if you needed, and you can submit your application to HM Government.

Once your paperwork is submitted, and your signatures have been lightly scrutinised, HM Government will grant you the status of Certified London Transsexual. They do not, in fact, have the authority to not grant you the status of Certified London Transsexual, as long as your signatures check out; this discretionary power was originally proposed in addition to the signature scheme but was later dropped for unknown reasons. This overall means that it is rather straightforward to obtain the benefits of being a Certified London Transsexual, with the main benefit being the status of being Certified in and of itself, and the secondary benefit the approval of all other Certified London Transsexuals. You are Certified, and until HM Government introduces a Specially Certified London Transsexual process, this is as good as it gets.

No one knows who the first Certified London Transsexual was, nor do many people remember what it took to become a Certified London Transsexual before the signature requirement. There simply always were Certified London Transsexuals, and this was the way it had always been.